This summer just got blown wide open!

I got fired yesterday. I got the call at 11:30. By 1:30 I was signed up for unemployment. Now I don't have to dicker over the one day I wanted off next month. I called about what would happen with my health insurance, and I can mail my premium to them. Then COBRA kicks in after 5 weeks and I can stay on that for 18 months. Life is sweet. One placement coordinator at the agency said "You're not very broken up about this, are you?" I just grinned. "Then it's time you moved on anyway". I've had my resume activated on the web for about a year now, and had pretty good inventory where all my belongings were, so I could grab them in one swift go-through. I already mailed out two resumes and had a tire replaced. I'm going to get a fishing license tomorrow. This morning I had to switch satellite receivers around to figure if a receiver is bad or wiring is bad. Ends up it's the wiring and the people are coming out tomorrow to fix it. I have an opportunity to go to Six Flag's new waterpark on Tuesday. I'm seriously considering going. I most definately don't have to ask for it off. And I'm not getting any younger!
It's been really freaking muggy here, yet we've had no rain. The grass is dead. The flowers die unless I water them. I've got windows to wash and gutters to clean! I'll start with the windows on the inside first.
My parents went a couple times to clean out my uncle's house. My mom found the pistol we were looking for. It was on a shelf under the t.v., in a metal box that was inside another metal box, like a money box. With his baptismal certificate. The gun was not loaded.
The second time they went there, they gathered up all of the government subsidy food that was still in packages and good. They went to take it to the woman who would look in on him, but they couldn't find her place. My parents pulled up to a really run-down looking trailer, and there were a bunch of dogs in the yard with puppies. My mom told them who they were looking for and they never heard of the woman. So my mom offered them the food. One woman yelled to someone else "God brought us food!". They were so grateful and couldn't thank my parents enough. The people wanted to send my parents home with a puppy.

This is the wall behind the shampoo bowl at The Emerald Studio in Berrien Springs. The owner (the lady who cuts my hair) is selling the place and it's going to be transformed into a salon/spa. I wanted to get a picture because I will always remeber the place for this picture/wallpaper. 

Good Help IS Really Hard To Find

My husband works at a body shop. There's been a long string of people coming and going through there. Then there are the die-hards that are in it for the long run. The ones that don't stay for very long always blow smoke out their asses about their abilities. When it comes to doing the actual work, they just stand there with dumb looks on their faces until one of the die-hards hold their hand for the rest of the day. One die-hard in particular, Pete, starts every sentence with m_____f__k_r. My husband witnessed Pete walking up to the boss, and starts with "M_____f__K_r, blah blah..." The boss's eye just bugged out. "Did you just call me m_____f__r?!?" Pete just blinked for a second and went on with his rant, starting with the MF word. He calls everybody that. It's his word for "hey you". I asked my husband why do they put up with that. He said Pete does good work, and around the area we live, it's really hard to find. Pete got a really gravelly crotchety old man voice. We thought it would be funny to hear him before sex: "Take them panties off, m_____f_k_r!!!"

one more old 'before the storm' pic 

well, at least someone here can sleep... 

I got a full plate of jack squat

I took on an extra job stuffing and labeling envelopes. I thought it would be easy, and it is, except to get it done in the time they want it, I have to dedicate every waking minute to it. My mom is even helping me with them now. So nothing is getting done at home. The counters are loaded, the bathroom is dirty, and I haven't vacuumed in three weeks. The house is starting to smell like animals. As soon as this job is done, I'm scheduling a vacation. I haven't been sleeping good either. We had the air on until yesterday because it finally cooled down, but the house does not cool evenly when it is on. It's either witches-teet cold or sauna warm, and walking through the house you go through pockets of each. Plus the dog's been constipated, waking me up every couple hours because he has to poop. Nothing like a chihuahua squatting next to your head to wake you up.
Saturday night we hung out with some close friends. On a liquor-run to get some vodka, I found out my favorite song is also Christy's. We were both like "How do YOU know this song?" We were listening to Clutch, and it's not like they play it on our local crap-assed radio stations. Neither of us look like the Clutch-listening type. The song just got this coolest, murky, bass-y rift, it just makes you want to sit in the dark watching traffic where you can't be seen. I don't know how else to describe it. There lots of sailing and navigating terms, it's just plain catchy. I'll post the lyrics later when they are in front of me.
My favorites are:
"Oh sir do not distress,
the food is fine.
Although I must confess
I do fine the wine
a wee bit dry.
"Fortune-teller's making a killing nowadays,
me oh my.
Howdy-Doody's past the house of Aquarius,
Bring me more whiskey and rye!!"

I guess you got to hear it to see the appeal.

Anyway, Absolut Peach is the bomb. We killed a bottle between three people. I'm sure by now I have some liver damage. Not a lot, just weekend damage. I decided to name the hole in my liver Boris because Boris likes vodka! Okay lack of sleep talking now.

prayer of the day

Please lord let me go five minutes today without looking at Gwen Stefani's mug, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes or Linsay Lohan. Thank you.

Good help is hard to find

Saturday morning I went to an art fair with my friend Sherry in downtown Kalamazoo. After zipping through all the booths, we went into this shoe store to look at athletic sandals. Or it might have been a place with an indoor rock climbing wall that sold shoes on the side. I don't know. Any way, there was a really fluffy cream-colored Persian cat walking around. It walked up to me, and every time I talked to it, it seemed like it meowed a sentence back. The cat had a lot to say! So I carried on a conversation with the cat until the guy working there come to tell me all I wanted to know about the sandals I was looking at. Ended up they didn't have my size, so we turned to leave. I asked if the cat was his. The cat was, and it's name is Bill. We almost fell over laughing

I'm Keeper Of The Drain!

Still not much going on here. That bunny was still here when I went home for lunch the other day, except it had moved a little, and there was fur all over the place. I've seen animals bite themselve where they hurt, but it didn't explain all the tufts of fur all over the place. He was alive, and upon closer inspection, he had been opened up from the back end and his insides where falling out. I went in to call Animal Control, and they sent someone to get it. I went back outside to get the mail, and there were two crows eating on it. That explained a lot. But it was still alive. A woman from Animal Control came and put it in one of the compartments on their truck and left.
Saturday I went to a one year old's first birthday party. Sorry people, my ovaries are not throbbing to crank out a kid. My mother in law runs a dehumidier with all the windows open, I seriously don't think we need any more of those people walking around. It was okay, there was a couple there with twin boys, and they let them run around like animals. There also was a lot of adult men (who were related to the birthday boy) belching real loud. At a child's birthday party. And I thought I lacked tact! After gift opening, I had enough and we left before the cake. I wasn't the only one that had enough, the couple we sat with had enough too and left with us. Then we went to a graduation party and had a real good time socializing and making virgin blender drinks for people.
Sunday I bought a bunch of flowers to plant and when I was driving home the clouds were rolling in. I just got the plants out of the car when the wind started blowing really hard. Then it started raining so I put the flowers under a tree. Then it started pouring so I went inside. It was so windy the rain was coming in every window, and the temperature dropped. I ran around to shut all the windows, and it started hailing. Small gumball sized. It just kept raining until early evening. The road drain by the corner was backed up with leaves and cottonwood fluff, and no water was going down. The corner was getting flooded, and I didn't want the water in my basement or cause a sinkhole. So I trudged out there with an umbrella and my fire-poking stick from the woodpile. I poked at the drain slots until they were all cleared, and water just gushed right in. The township will receive a bill for my services shortly.

I had a dream about the crack whore. My husband and I and our closest friends were all at a party, and she kept sitting across from us. So we'd move. Then she would show up again. Then we'd move somewhere else. Then she's be sitting across from us again. Then she pulled out a cigarrette tin, and pulled out what looked like Q-Tips soaked in brown crayon wax and smoke it. Crayon wax, and not grease, or something grosser, I'm not sure why. I think that's my little mind trying to sanitize things for me. I've keep asking myself since that: Why Q-Tips? I have two possibe explanations. The first is that a person I know witnessed her picking up filth off the floor and try smoking it, thinking it was possibly a crack fragment that she dropped. This guy would mess with her and drop Kitty-Litter by her feet, and she'd stoop down, pick it up and try smoking it. So she smokes garbage, and that came through in another form in my dream. Another explanation was a long time ago she came to my parent's house, and my dad had a bunch Q-Tips in a jar cut in half. The reason, I don't know. I think he had a medical condition that only called for half a q-tip, who knows. Well anyway she went into that bathroom and saw that and I never heard the end of it. Her penchant du jour was white supremecy, so she called them Jew-Tips, you only got cotton on one end. Any wonder why I got tired of hanging around her? She would tell me I was a Jew because I "horded" my money. And a car and later a house to show for it, who'da thunk? Anyway, she made fun of the q-tips, but later they were good enough to smoke for her standards. Dreams are sweet.
Monday I planted my flowers and Tuesday I got my work shirts. They are a really pretty lilac color. When I walk around with the other lady I work with, we get a lot of complements. Let's see how pretty lilac shirts look in November!

1000 Bells or something like that 

Firewitch, a perennial 

sweet licorice and some flower I forgot the name of 

straw flowers 

Here's a head that fell off it's neck this past winter. Bisque head + Water + Freezing Temps = Busted Head 

Another freaky yellow sky shot before the storm. 

The sky got all freaky-yellow before the storm came in. When it's green, watch out! 

pass the calamine, I'm irritated

Not much has been happening here. Just irritations here and there, like the person I wrote about in the previous post. Now I'm getting creditor calls at my house looking for my sister. Sent a scathing letter telling her to take care of her shit, she got a job now. Paper that had the obituaries of my dad's brother and person I no longer associate with's father was used to line the litterbox by my husband. Had to scramble around asking people for theirs. I couldn't find a bill that I knew I didn't pay yet, found it in a pile of junk. My own absent-mindedness towards things like that really burn me. Company I work for through agency is implementing a new dress codes starting Tuesday, black pants only! Even on jeans day! Bitches. The Suits never visit on a Friday, and I only have one pair of black pants. This means I either have to do laundry in the middle of the week, have some stinky britches by Friday, or just wear jeans anyway. Oh yeah, the college I went to keeps calling looking for donations. I tell them we're living hand-to-mouth and wipe their ass with their degree. In a nice way.

If you want to see something funny, look up Yahoo personals, female looking for a male under zip code 49085. You'll see why a lot of people move away from here.

This morning there was a bunny laying on it's side right in front of our front porch. I think it's back legs were run over by the way it was laying. It was still alive and breathing, but it didn't even make an attempt to run with I went up on the porch to look over it. If it's still there and alive when I get home, I'll call the nature center and seek their advice. If they will take it, I will bring it to them. If it will let me. I don't need to go getting rabies now. Last thing I need is more irritation.