New Pope Requirements

It's time to elect a new pope. Now if it were up to a lot of us, the new one would be about 30, you know, old enough to know trucker hats are a ridiculous fashion statement, has had to work in his life for minimum wage at some point, and had a girlfriend who has told him "honey, I'm LATE this month". Whatever job he has now, doesn't offer health insurance. Let's say his job is 30 minutes away and gas prices are $2.43 a gallon.

I've read Americans are called Cafeteria Catholics. They pick and choose what parts of the religion that's convenient to them. It's called SURVIVAL.