St. Patty's Day celebrated with comedy

My friend Carrie got free tickets to the Funnybone and invited me to go with her and some friends last night. The headliner was Debi Gutierrez. She was in one of the first eBay commercials, she was the little woman who was at a computer, then somehow dancing on a flatbed truck, then whisked away on the back of a motorcycle. She was hilarious. Lots of straight-talk about the realities of being a mother, and how kids mind the dads more. None of that PC crap, she told is like it is about all the annoying things that kids do to piss you off, and stop having kids after the first one, and that by the time the 3rd kid comes around, it's like "whatever". And kids don't mess with dads. Dads can take showers till all the water runs out. Moms basically have less than two seconds before a kid comes barging in wanting something. It was terrific birth control for my friend Christy, who wanted nothing else but to crank out babies as soon as she was married. Then she went on her honeymoon to Disney World with all the kids screaming and running around. Then she went to lunch with Carrie and her child who was less than angelic in the least. And then there was last night. She likes her sleep! She likes to drink! She likes to shower! She figured she can put off babies for a few years. The funniest part what when the comedienne bargained with her husband. If he took the kids after 4:30, she'd do any freaky thing he wanted her to. The kids ate cereal in the boxes with the milk you pour in the side. She was able to have a real shower, and she heard her son come running down the hall to the bathroom and her husband clotheslined him right there in the hall. The kids were put to bed in their school uniforms with a pop-tart on their chests for breakfast the next morning. And the baby was put to bed without a bath. "You put the baby to bed without a bath?". Yeah, where's he got to go tomorrow morning?