spine, uninterrupted

I got a call from a person I cut out of my life three years ago. Her father died. She thought I should know, because he always liked me. And yes, she wanted to be friends with me again. And I said no. I told her I have too much to lose now. I have friends that love me regardless if I'm not employed, have no money, or have no gas in my car. Three years ago I was really hurt when she called to hang out at the bar, only to get there to find a table of her friends waiting for her. I was her ride and she had no use for me after that, and didn't talk to me. It happened more than a few times. When she went back to her job and I was still unemployed, she had no time for me. Ever. So now she's "homeless" and does not have a boyfriend. Hmm, wonder where I fit into that picture? She always stretched the truth for sympathy, I can bet money homeless means she was kicked out of her house but squatting on somone's couch. I also told her I have a good bunch of friends whom we all knew nothing about each other, just what she told us. It dawned on us when we started to compare notes. That's when she said I turned everyone against her. No, we all took turns figuring out for ourselves she wasn't a good person to be around and the relationship was mostly destructive. She got mad I was telling her this now, of all times, but I've been waiting for three years. It just flowed. So she yelled at me as to who I can call to get a hold of her and hung up on me. Hope she's not sitting by the phone!
To start up again would mean to be used again, to be shit on again. Probably this time include trips to crack houses and hotels to turn tricks, maybe methadone appointments.
I'm sorry her dad died, but there is nothing I can do for him. He was a good, generous man, but she shit all over his and her mother's generosity and held her hand out for more. He is definately in a better place.
I'll say it once, I'll say it again:
Weed your garden, and it will grow. Done that, now I have the best friends I could ever hope for.
From shit came the flowers.
To all my friends, I want to thank you for listening to me these past three years, for sticking by me. I'm guilty of beating a dead horse more than a few times. Your patience is awesome. I'm sorry we didn't start talking sooner.

Goodbye Gub'ment Cheese

My dad's brother died this weekend. I won't call him my uncle, we didn't claim him as that. I referred to him as Nasty Fucker. He was a cheap bastard who didn't bathe. Ever. He didn't want to spend the money to turn on his hot water heater. Or wash his clothes. He stunk up the house whenever he visited, and never missed an opportunity to tell my mom how fat she was getting when she was fixing him a plate. We always had to wash the chair he sat in after he left. In last twenty years he had taken to dumpster diving and trash picking. He also started stealing from people's fruit trees and gardens. He was going through people's mail as he waited for them to come home. My parents started locking their shed because of him. Last summer a guy walked up to him and gave him ten bucks. He thought that was the greatest thing, people just walking up to him and handing him money. He didn't understand he looked homeless. He received government subsidies (free food) because he was a senior and never missed out on a handout. When he'd go to his winter place in Florida, somebody would pick up his food for him, he let my dad take what he wanted. He didn't want any of it to go to waste. So that was my gub'ment cheese hookup. I went with my dad yesterday to find his important papers and lock up his shed. When we walked in the house, it smelled like a meth lab, all ethery smelling. There was a shopping bag of oranges rotting. There were huge flys buzzing around. Inside the house was really bad. Before he was taken to the hospital last week (had a the worst yeast infection imaginable in the worst place imaginabe because his lack of hygiene) he had taken a crap and didn't flush the toilet, so the house reeked up that. It would have been just a dirty old house filled with junk, if it weren't for his nasty clothes and linens everywhere. I wore work gloves when I helped my dad look for papers, I wasn't taking any chances. We made sure we took anything of value out (an old radio and some gardening tools--that's it) because the druggie neighbors are waiting to pounce on the house when they find out he's dead. With he infection cleared up, the hospital said he could not be left alone, so he was taken to a nursing home, where he woke up. He asked the nurses where he was, they told him, he went back to bed and within hours he was dead. They say it was congestive heart failure, but we all know he didn't want to pay to be there.

that's some good noodles and gravy

Seems like every time I find somewhere I like eat, they close. There's an awesome Italian deli downtown, but it seems like the young guy that runs the place is not having any fun at it. He never smiles. Plus I think I heard him tell somebody he drives in from Chicago every day. Sounds like a pain in the ass to me. But anyway, I try to make it a point to eat there as often as I could stand. I didn't feel like having one of their numerous muli-meat sandwiches, so I opted for a small spaghetti and iced tea. It was sooo good, you can tell it was home-made. You could really see the oregano in there. I'm watching Sopranos on dvd now, and one guy in Tony's gang, Paulie, asked for a bowl of "noodles and gravy" when in Italy. He just wanted spaghetti and sauce instead of that the fancy unrecognizable stuff the restaurant served him. I couldn't help but think this was the perfect the perfect example of noodles and gravy. I wonder if anyone gets smart and asks for a side of "stugots" on the side.
(See HBO website, click on Sopranos, then Mobspeak to learn some essential Italian).
Try this link:
http://www.hbo.com/sopranos/mobspeak/index.shtml

I've thought it, but never said it

The lady I work with and I were looking at eBay for something, I think uniform shirts, when we came across one with Eeyore on it.
"Why don't someone shoot that thing and put it out of it's misery already".

My un-designer purse. It's so ugly, I had to have it.  

There's a farm close to us with a big mound of dirt that the cows just love to stand on. Every time we go by we imagine the cows saying "It's MY HILL, bitch!". 

"I can wait here as long as you want" 

All of a sudden the cat was interested in the plant after I watered it. 

not fitting in is okay

I found a local deli has made-to-order salads. I've been eating a lot of greasey stuff, and I thought I would give myself a little break and have one of these salads. As it was being made, I figured it was one of the most preppy-est hangouts in town. Every woman in there had a designer purse, a cardigan sweater, and sunglasses on their heads. Some of them were on cell phones. But I noticed something. They all had this pissed-off, crabby air to them. I couldn't help but chuckle. Outside the cars were new and clean. So I just went on about my day with my zip up sweatshirt in my tree-sapped and bird shit car. Happy.

Even ho's need a laugh

My husband works in a high crime area, includiding prostitutes. He and a co-worker were test-driving a van they were working on when they came to the area where all the ho's hang out. It was a nice day so they had their nice hooker clothes on. Like always they greet every male driver with a "Haaay". My husband, never missing an opportunity to be a goof, hollered back in his most hillbilliest, voice-cracking pubescent "HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!". He said all of them could barely stand, they were laughing so hard.

Oh yeah, I'm having a riot here

Once again I inadvertantly cut all my hair off. I wanted to keep most of my hair, but just layering the ends to make them flip up. I guess I didn't communicate I wanted to keep most of my hair, so it ended up on the salon floor. Which is okay, I'm slowly starting to like the new 'do. A lot a people have complimented it, so I guess it looks alright. When I actually take the time and use a flattening iron, I really make the ends stand out. The words CRAZED PIXIE come to mind. Anyway I had the flippy ends working this morning, and was saying my usual good mornings to the familiar faces in the hall. Then this one guy I see every morning says "looks like you're having fun". I've seen this guy before, quite frankly, I wouldn't share an elevator with him. He gives me the creeps. He's a grown man with a haircut suitable for a third grader. Where's the nicely groomed men? Where I ask you? They, apparently don't work on this floor.

I love working here

Last year we had a huge storm, and the place I work at had a ton of trees blow over. So the lawn maintenance people totally reworked this little courtyard area that has a major hallway going past it. They replaced all the tinted glass that was broken and ripped out all the tree stumps and ground cover and put in some small ornamental trees and beach grasses. It seemed as soon as it got warmer inside, some animal, probably a woodchuck, dug a big ol' burrow right in the middle of everything. Then yesterday there was a crow picking the eyeball out of a bird that hit the glass. You can view the courtyard from the hallway or have to be some upper management type with an office with a window. I'm praying some of the area's stray dogs would come and put on a show for us.